Intangible Intentions
Re: Why is Taylor Sirard so unsure?
When people ask me about my plans for the distant future I don't have many concrete answers to give. I usually know where I'll be and what will occupy me for about a year ahead. When people ask, "What about after that?" I offer a shrug.
Responses vary. Most people say something about how I'm young and it's the perfect time to just "have fun." There are a few who offer simple encouragement. Some widen their eyes in either disbelief or astonishment. The topic usually doesn't come up if I meet someone who lives a similar lifestyle; results of a mutual understanding.
I can't describe explicitly what that mutual understanding is, but I know that it is rare. I often feel a snag when I hear others' perception of how I live. Whatever people tell me, it feels left of center. I can see that lack of specifics may seem like lack of direction, but that's far from true.
Of course, I am aware no one could perceive my life through any experience but their own. Naturally, my intentions will often feel misunderstood. Nobody is wrong here. No one is better or worse. These are just observations of difference, and an opportunity for me to explain my perspective.
If I am making sweeping generalizations (I am), Americans tend to see life as a series of accomplishments. You know the schpeel: complete education, get a job, make money, find a partner, have a family, etc.. It makes sense that our plans for the future are an effort to define what that will look like. We ask: What college do you want to go to? What are you going to study? Where do you want to live? Where are you going to work? How much money will you make? How many children do you want? What will their names be? What color hair does your ideal partner have? What are their hobbies?
While I know it is important to prepare for my future and it's so much fun to fantasize about specifics, this isn't how I frame my life. I haven't been a fan of questions like these since the first hundred times I was asked about my plans for college in high school. To avoid rambling incoherently, let me provide a metaphor.
Let's say structuring life is like building a house. First, you start with the foundation which needs to be a solid base for the entire construction. I could make the foundation of my life with a certain town, an idealized partner, and a specific career. Then I build the rest on top, my hobbies, my sense of security, my values, my social life, and my desires.
What happens if a new career is developed I am better suited for? What happens if I never find a partner who fits the description in my head? What happens if I visit a different town that I want to move to? The foundation crumbles, and along with it, everything else built on top.
People, places, and things change. They always have and they always will. So, for me, it doesn't make sense to mix my foundation with things that aren't solid. These things are important, they would probably be a good frame for the house. However, I can't base my decisions in life off of things that are so uncertain. I believe almost nothing is.
With that being said, I probably wouldn't build my life-house with a foundation at all. In a shocking twist, I think I would go for a house on wheels. Tires are necessary and must be secure while in use, but they can be changed. Tires can be repaired if they have a hole or inflated if flat. When a mobile home tire is destroyed, the house on top isn't completely dismantled.
So what makes for a good mobile home tire to support a life-house? Something solid while in use. Something that can withstand bumps in the road. Things that can be built up, or replaced, or reworked. Things that are flexible, like rubber. Things that can be filled with a resource always available, like air. My tires need to move with me wherever my life goes.
Partnerships aren't always solid. Careers aren't always flexible. Places can't move. Money isn't a reliable, consistently available resource. None of these will work for my foundation. Do I still want them in my life? Heck yeah. I just can't build my life on top of them.
My foundation consists of things that are like a good tire. Not concrete, but solid. Not permanent, but malleable. Am I still rambling? I'll explain.
In planning my future, I first outline three-five top priorities in my life. These are always intangible concepts and values that I know will evolve over time. This is a hard thing to figure out at first. I make this possible by carving out a chunk of time I know I will not be interrupted. Internet devices go in another room, off or silent. After a practice of grounding/connection, like yoga, I ask myself what things are most important to me. I sit down roughly every six months and rewrite the list, coincidentally about as often as tire rotations.
It's very possible this idea came from Hal Elrod's self-help book The Miracle Morning, which I expand upon my experience with here. I don't remember the exact origins, but I make no claims to have come up with this process on my own. A stolen idea, very stolen.
In early 2016 I wrote down my first four top priorities: Love, Keep Trying, Look Up, and Live Through Unity. After coming up with each concept, I defined what they meant to me in more detail. Next to 'Live Through Unity' I wrote, "I will remember that we are all connected. I am a part of a much larger whole and I will live out my actions through this knowledge."
By October of 2016, my priorities had evolved. Then I wrote down: Start Within, Thrive, Love, and Live a Hell Yes Life. It is so interesting to see that during a time of action and creation my values were much more high energy. I was starting a business and preparing for my senior exhibition (the rite of passage for BFA students at my university.) I had cultivated more than enough strength to 'keep trying', and I was ready to 'thrive'. Neat!
I sat down again during my final semester of college in January of 2017. I was at the peak of busyness in my life. January came with an hour-by-hour weekly schedule, to which time with friends had to be penned in. I went back to less ambitious priorities then: Love, Be True, Grow, and Think Big. Hell, still ambitious, but perhaps less aggressive.
Most recently, I made a priority list in November of 2017. I wrote this at the very beginning of my trip. Bernadette had sprung a leak which left me stranded in Charleston, Illinois for three days while repairs were made. Luckily I found an unfurnished, therefore discounted, Airbnb in town. I used the time and space to make vegan pizza in the oven, sing songs with the reverberations of the empty rooms, do an entire load of laundry in the bathtub by hand, and write the following:
Similar to my other goals and intentions, I don't embody these concepts in every moment. I'm still working on being honest when it's difficult. I rush things instead of slowing down. Acting from a place of love isn't constant. I'm a flawed human ya'll! The point is, these priorities are what I strive for. They are what I look to when I feel unsure. My priorities are the stable yet flexible tires of my mobile life-home.
This isn't the right way or the only way to structure a life. It is just the way that works for me. I offer it as an example not to copy, but to take from it what is helpful to you. Even if that is the realization that this method would never work for you. Copying is totally welcome, too!
You might be thinking (as I sometimes do), "Great Taylor. That's nice and all, but how exactly do those intangible concepts turn in to actionable goals? How does 'process' get me fed at the end of the day? How can 'love' give me direction for my future?"
Solid questions. A foundation is just the beginning of building a house. I directly use these priorities to form more tangible goals, but that process I will save for another post. You'll have to trust me for now and stay tuned for the next 'Why' post. ;)
Until then, I would absolutely love to know what you think of this method! I love all the feedback I am getting on other platforms, and I think it would be great to bring the discussion to the comments here so we can all interact. Regardless, thank you so much for reading. Click here to become a patron, receive exclusive content, and keep these blog posts coming!
When people ask me about my plans for the distant future I don't have many concrete answers to give. I usually know where I'll be and what will occupy me for about a year ahead. When people ask, "What about after that?" I offer a shrug.
Responses vary. Most people say something about how I'm young and it's the perfect time to just "have fun." There are a few who offer simple encouragement. Some widen their eyes in either disbelief or astonishment. The topic usually doesn't come up if I meet someone who lives a similar lifestyle; results of a mutual understanding.
I can't describe explicitly what that mutual understanding is, but I know that it is rare. I often feel a snag when I hear others' perception of how I live. Whatever people tell me, it feels left of center. I can see that lack of specifics may seem like lack of direction, but that's far from true.
Of course, I am aware no one could perceive my life through any experience but their own. Naturally, my intentions will often feel misunderstood. Nobody is wrong here. No one is better or worse. These are just observations of difference, and an opportunity for me to explain my perspective.
If I am making sweeping generalizations (I am), Americans tend to see life as a series of accomplishments. You know the schpeel: complete education, get a job, make money, find a partner, have a family, etc.. It makes sense that our plans for the future are an effort to define what that will look like. We ask: What college do you want to go to? What are you going to study? Where do you want to live? Where are you going to work? How much money will you make? How many children do you want? What will their names be? What color hair does your ideal partner have? What are their hobbies?
While I know it is important to prepare for my future and it's so much fun to fantasize about specifics, this isn't how I frame my life. I haven't been a fan of questions like these since the first hundred times I was asked about my plans for college in high school. To avoid rambling incoherently, let me provide a metaphor.
---
Let's say structuring life is like building a house. First, you start with the foundation which needs to be a solid base for the entire construction. I could make the foundation of my life with a certain town, an idealized partner, and a specific career. Then I build the rest on top, my hobbies, my sense of security, my values, my social life, and my desires.
What happens if a new career is developed I am better suited for? What happens if I never find a partner who fits the description in my head? What happens if I visit a different town that I want to move to? The foundation crumbles, and along with it, everything else built on top.
People, places, and things change. They always have and they always will. So, for me, it doesn't make sense to mix my foundation with things that aren't solid. These things are important, they would probably be a good frame for the house. However, I can't base my decisions in life off of things that are so uncertain. I believe almost nothing is.
With that being said, I probably wouldn't build my life-house with a foundation at all. In a shocking twist, I think I would go for a house on wheels. Tires are necessary and must be secure while in use, but they can be changed. Tires can be repaired if they have a hole or inflated if flat. When a mobile home tire is destroyed, the house on top isn't completely dismantled.
So what makes for a good mobile home tire to support a life-house? Something solid while in use. Something that can withstand bumps in the road. Things that can be built up, or replaced, or reworked. Things that are flexible, like rubber. Things that can be filled with a resource always available, like air. My tires need to move with me wherever my life goes.
Partnerships aren't always solid. Careers aren't always flexible. Places can't move. Money isn't a reliable, consistently available resource. None of these will work for my foundation. Do I still want them in my life? Heck yeah. I just can't build my life on top of them.
My foundation consists of things that are like a good tire. Not concrete, but solid. Not permanent, but malleable. Am I still rambling? I'll explain.
In planning my future, I first outline three-five top priorities in my life. These are always intangible concepts and values that I know will evolve over time. This is a hard thing to figure out at first. I make this possible by carving out a chunk of time I know I will not be interrupted. Internet devices go in another room, off or silent. After a practice of grounding/connection, like yoga, I ask myself what things are most important to me. I sit down roughly every six months and rewrite the list, coincidentally about as often as tire rotations.
It's very possible this idea came from Hal Elrod's self-help book The Miracle Morning, which I expand upon my experience with here. I don't remember the exact origins, but I make no claims to have come up with this process on my own. A stolen idea, very stolen.
In early 2016 I wrote down my first four top priorities: Love, Keep Trying, Look Up, and Live Through Unity. After coming up with each concept, I defined what they meant to me in more detail. Next to 'Live Through Unity' I wrote, "I will remember that we are all connected. I am a part of a much larger whole and I will live out my actions through this knowledge."
By October of 2016, my priorities had evolved. Then I wrote down: Start Within, Thrive, Love, and Live a Hell Yes Life. It is so interesting to see that during a time of action and creation my values were much more high energy. I was starting a business and preparing for my senior exhibition (the rite of passage for BFA students at my university.) I had cultivated more than enough strength to 'keep trying', and I was ready to 'thrive'. Neat!
I sat down again during my final semester of college in January of 2017. I was at the peak of busyness in my life. January came with an hour-by-hour weekly schedule, to which time with friends had to be penned in. I went back to less ambitious priorities then: Love, Be True, Grow, and Think Big. Hell, still ambitious, but perhaps less aggressive.
Most recently, I made a priority list in November of 2017. I wrote this at the very beginning of my trip. Bernadette had sprung a leak which left me stranded in Charleston, Illinois for three days while repairs were made. Luckily I found an unfurnished, therefore discounted, Airbnb in town. I used the time and space to make vegan pizza in the oven, sing songs with the reverberations of the empty rooms, do an entire load of laundry in the bathtub by hand, and write the following:
 |
| [Image: A hand-written list entitled 'Top Priorities Nov 2017.' Contents of the list are transcribed directly below.] |
LOVE: Act from a place of love. Understand with compassion. Give and receive love. Love myself. Love others. Soften with love. Envigorate with love. Over and over. Love every day. There is no maximum. Love is your God. It is the absolute truth. It is your purest form.That last bit is crucial, especially when my priorities feel so grand and serious.
HONESTY: Life fully in your truth. Stay grounded so you can speak and act in honesty. Tap into your intuition--it will reveal truth. Trust your body and your emotions as your truth meter. Face honesty when it is difficult. Be open and accepting as your truth changes.
PROCESS: Give priority to how you do things. Pay attention. Slow down. Remember, quality over quantity. You are not guaranteed any amount of time here, so don't use it as a measurement. Aim to remember this in each moment. Use it to keep you present.
AND DON'T FORGET TO RELAX AND HAVE FUN.
Similar to my other goals and intentions, I don't embody these concepts in every moment. I'm still working on being honest when it's difficult. I rush things instead of slowing down. Acting from a place of love isn't constant. I'm a flawed human ya'll! The point is, these priorities are what I strive for. They are what I look to when I feel unsure. My priorities are the stable yet flexible tires of my mobile life-home.
This isn't the right way or the only way to structure a life. It is just the way that works for me. I offer it as an example not to copy, but to take from it what is helpful to you. Even if that is the realization that this method would never work for you. Copying is totally welcome, too!
You might be thinking (as I sometimes do), "Great Taylor. That's nice and all, but how exactly do those intangible concepts turn in to actionable goals? How does 'process' get me fed at the end of the day? How can 'love' give me direction for my future?"
Solid questions. A foundation is just the beginning of building a house. I directly use these priorities to form more tangible goals, but that process I will save for another post. You'll have to trust me for now and stay tuned for the next 'Why' post. ;)
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